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Introversion

I’m an introvert, which now I am at ease with. I like spending days in my house by myself, listening to music, reading books, or whatever else. I’m quiet when I’m out, I don’t say too much to people, especially ones I do not know. I like talking about deep and meaningful things, I’m not good with small talk. I’d rather walk home than catch a bus or taxi, and possibly have to make small talk with someone.

Like I said, I am now at ease with being an introvert, and I actually prefer to be an introvert, even if it means I’m less liked, so be it. The people who I want to know the real me do, others I don’t care about.

When I was younger, I don’t think I even realised I was an introvert, but I always have been, from childhood. I didn’t like being that way, I used to try and be like others, more extroverted, hoping I would be more liked. That was a mistake, you can’t be who you’re not. So when I was younger, I was less noticed, which back then bothered me. I thought, why can’t I be funny and be the life and soul of the party. People are drawn to extroverts, they aren’t to introverts. I hated that. But now, I’m fine with it.

I want to be in the background, I want to sit and listen and learn. I’d rather spend time in a quiet room than be in a room full of people. I like being left alone. Us introverts have a different viewpoint on things, we see things differently.

So it’s fine being an introvert, it’s great to be an introvert, It’s better than being an extrovert. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about or to feel bad about. At least we don’t make ourselves look like idiots in front of others.

If there’s anyone who says you’re boring, because you’re quiet and introverted, just tell them to fuck off. Be yourself always.

9-5-19

I transferred to a new host over the past few days or so. It was the first time I’ve had to manually move my WordPress installation to a new host, it was pretty smooth. I did make a mistake on my first attempt, but my second go was successful, and with a bit of tweaking here and there it was all done, pretty happy with how it went. I think I’m going to like my new host.

6-5-19

Saw the Doc last Friday, great visit as usual, to be honest we barely spoke about my mental health, just had a bit of a chat about other stuff, it was a lot of fun. I do have an inflamed cyst apparently too, which I’m taking antibiotics for. Super Doc to the rescue again.

My mental health has been fairly stable as of late, the past 3 weeks or so anyway. I have had thoughts about self harming again soon, just have to wait and see when that occurs.