16-5-18 [3]

I go out for walks nearly every day, weather permitting. And there are times when I’m walking wondering what is real and what is not. Like I’m in a dream, it really is difficult sometimes to figure out what’s real and what your mind is making up.

Today was actually pretty good, it makes a change from feeling like shit all the time. I bought some new scalpels the other day, they were sent today, should get here Friday.


Yesterday was sort of okay. I drank a lot to numb the negative thoughts, I was partially drunk. So the day went without much happening.

Today has been alright I suppose. Went for a nice walk this morning, then moved a few things around when I got home, so tried to stay as busy as I could. The negative thoughts have been kept fairly quiet today.


Went to see Dr. H yesterday. It went very well. Told her I wasn’t feeling too good at the moment. Told her about seeing things. She wanted to see me next week to check up on me, but couldn’t fit me in, so I will see her in 2 weeks now. I would have liked to have seen her next week, but, not much I can do about that. She impressed today with her caring nature, I got the feeling she cared, which is good. I feel safe with her until Dr. P comes back.

Feeling low today, well this evening anyway. This morning I had a slight relief when I went out for a walk, but right now, feeling low.