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20-6-20 [2]

Interesting article. The positive effects in that graphic and article are consistent with what I feel, but I must say that I have never felt any sense of guilt or shame after I have self harmed. So it’s not really like a vicious circle for me, I don’t feel bad about self harming, which then gives me negative feelings and leads to more self harm, I don’t get any sort of regret after I self harm. I do it mainly because I feel depressed, and sometimes for other reasons, like being angry about something for example. Afterwards – No shame or guilt whatsoever. My scars I look at as my battle scars, that I’m fighting the illnesses that I have.

https://sciencenordic.com/children-and-adolescents-denmark-pain/self-harm-is-not-only-for-troubled-teens/1450284

19-6-20

I got the new Kall album today, through Bandcamp. It’s really good, not as good as the debut but it’s a good listen. The Vinyl was sent earlier this week so looking forward to getting that.

Introversion

I’m an introvert, which now I am at ease with. I like spending days in my house by myself, listening to music, reading books, or whatever else. I’m quiet when I’m out, I don’t say too much to people, especially ones I do not know. I like talking about deep and meaningful things, I’m not good with small talk. I’d rather walk home than catch a bus or taxi, and possibly have to make small talk with someone.

Like I said, I am now at ease with being an introvert, and I actually prefer to be an introvert, even if it means I’m less liked, so be it. The people who I want to know the real me do, others I don’t care about.

When I was younger, I don’t think I even realised I was an introvert, but I always have been, from childhood. I didn’t like being that way, I used to try and be like others, more extroverted, hoping I would be more liked. That was a mistake, you can’t be who you’re not. So when I was younger, I was less noticed, which back then bothered me. I thought, why can’t I be funny and be the life and soul of the party. People are drawn to extroverts, they aren’t to introverts. I hated that. But now, I’m fine with it.

I want to be in the background, I want to sit and listen and learn. I’d rather spend time in a quiet room than be in a room full of people. I like being left alone. Us introverts have a different viewpoint on things, we see things differently.

So it’s fine being an introvert, it’s great to be an introvert, It’s better than being an extrovert. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about or to feel bad about. At least we don’t make ourselves look like idiots in front of others.

If there’s anyone who says you’re boring, because you’re quiet and introverted, just tell them to fuck off. Be yourself always.