20-6-20 [2]

Interesting article. The positive effects in that graphic and article are consistent with what I feel, but I must say that I have never felt any sense of guilt or shame after I have self harmed. So it’s not really like a vicious circle for me, I don’t feel bad about self harming, which then gives me negative feelings and leads to more self harm, I don’t get any sort of regret after I self harm. I do it mainly because I feel depressed, and sometimes for other reasons, like being angry about something for example. Afterwards – No shame or guilt whatsoever. My scars I look at as my battle scars, that I’m fighting the illnesses that I have.

19-6-20 [2]

So things have been going… the same I would say. Things are pretty similar every day. Funny thing is, I think it’s going to be harder for me to adjust to the lock down ending as it was to the lock down beginning. I like being away from people, that’s been a good thing. With a couple of exceptions of course, I do miss a couple of people but everyone else, I’m glad to be away from. I’m going out walking early every morning so at least I’m getting out a little bit. I think I’m going to find it quite tiring when the time comes for me to get back to something resembling a routine of going out more, being around people tires me out. I haven’t had any serious depressive episodes, some days are a bit flat, but no depression. I have had some thoughts of self harming, I do miss it very much, whether I’ll do it soon I can’t answer that, it’s just some random thoughts at the moment, nothing is imminent. So yeah, everything is just…. the same at the moment.


I got the new Kall album today, through Bandcamp. It’s really good, not as good as the debut but it’s a good listen. The Vinyl was sent earlier this week so looking forward to getting that.