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21-2-20

I saw my mental health worker on Wednesday of this week. It was a good visit and I had a nice chat but at the end of the appointment, she said this is it now, this is the last session, I said “really?”. She said yeah, didn’t you know, and I said no. She said sorry about that, I was supposed to have you for two more sessions, but they took them off me, because the mental health system is poorly funded. I said that’s alright, I understand, which I do, I wasn’t mad, I know mental health is very poorly funded. It does piss me off in a way though, because I could have been suicidal and what if I was turned away then? Luckily I haven’t been suicidal for a while, but who knows, I could have been and what would have happened then, would I have been told my sessions were cancelled because of poor funding. There could very well be other people out there who are desperately suicidal and will not have the help they need in time. It’s just sad, sad that it’s so poorly funded and overlooked, how many people are going to commit suicide because they can’t get enough help or because they can’t get it in time. How many will kill themselves before mental health gets the funding it deserves. It’s not the workers fault, the one I saw was very nice, most of them try their best, but when the resources are not there what can they do. I am fortunate, I have a doctor who I see every two weeks who gives me amazing support and goes above and beyond her job title to help me, but others are not so fortunate. The mental health worker did recommend to me that I ask my doctor to refer me back again to see someone for more sessions and support, I’ll discuss it with the doc next Tuesday, I’m not really sure what I want at the moment.

18-2-20

I did get the new Mortiis album, yay for me. It was a day after I posted that I hadn’t gotten it yet.

Feeling fairly good, I have an appointment with the mental health worker tomorrow, I don’t really feel like going, but I will. Sometimes the travelling to and from the place gets me down a bit, and I still don’t think I am totally used to having someone else to talk to. I’d be happy if it were just the Doc, but she wants me to have more help I think. Anyway, I’ll go.