RSS
Close

9-10-20

I have had a pretty shit past week or two. Last Thursday my anxiety started getting bad again, really bad. Lots of pains. Lasted all of last weekend and into the beginning of this week. I can’t seem to shake anxiety at the moment, it has a grip on me. The past 5 weeks or so, anxiety has just been coming over me in waves, and when it starts it’s hard to stop. It would be nice to have a break from it for a few weeks, feel calm for a change. Luckily my depression has kept at bay, I hardly ever get depression and anxiety at the same time anyway, not when it’s a bad case of it. My anxiety and depression are always there even when one is bad, but I don’t generally get both bad at the same time. At some points I’m just sitting here anxious about getting anxious again, not good. I did go and get my bloods done yesterday, which left me with a nice bruise on my arm, it’s tempted me to self harm, it’s a good feeling looking down and seeing a bruise on my arm. It was nice to see a nurse though, I enjoyed that, my Doc put on my notes for my blood pressure and weight to be taken too, she takes good care of me, and people wonder why I have such a high opinion of her. I speak to her next week by phone, which I’m looking forward to, just to be able to tell someone my anxiety has been bad is a relief in itself. I’ve nearly finished my benzos, so I’m hoping she’ll give me some more to have here in case it gets bad again. That’s about it, I’ve been going out for walks, when the weather is okay, which has been nice, nice and cold weather, which I adore.