Past week has not been too bad, pretty quiet. Still getting self harm thoughts a lot of the time. Going through intense patches of depression. I’ve had a couple of family get-togethers which, surprisingly, went pretty good. Sometimes though I feel a bit guilty afterwards, going from a situation when I feel pretty good and that I’ve enjoyed, then after that I’m on my own and thinking about depression and self harm, looking at my scars and feeling guilty for doing all those scars in the first place. I’m not ashamed of my scars, maybe just guilty for enjoying myself when I made them.

I still have some bruising from the last lot of needles I done, I love looking at the bruising. It’s stayed quite long, 11 days so far. It’s not terrible bruising, but enough to make me feel good.

About Höst

A blog about various things - music, mental health, nature, my very mundane life and various thoughts.

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