This past week has been up and down. I seem to be going through the same pattern every day, I wake up feeling not too bad, go out, again feeling not too bad while I’m out, and then as the day progresses my mood just goes down, then by the time I’m in bed I feel like shit, and the thoughts of self harm are strong. I think of self harm every day, I think the only thing that’s stopped me thus far is just inconvenience more than anything else. Sometimes I just want to cut myself up.

I’m still waiting for these chicken pox spots to go too, I’m wearing long sleeve stuff to hide the spots on my arms, very irritating. I think I’ve got a permanent mark on my face from them too.

Saw the dentist on Tuesday, everything was fine, teeth all good. She said I don’t have to go again for 9 months.

I’m looking forward to seeing the Doc next Friday, it can’t come quick enough, haven’t seen her for a while now because of the chicken pox, so looking forward to having a chat with her.

Other than that not much happening, I just like drawing my black curtains 3/4’s shut and sit in a darkened room.


About Höst

A blog about various things - music, mental health, nature, my very mundane life and various thoughts.

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