Saw my Dr. yesterday, a great visit yet again, how come I always leave an appointment with her feeling good. She gave me a lovely warm hug, I gave her some cards with notes of thanks on each one and she seemed to really like them which pleased me, she thanked me, and gave me a nice hug. I just wanted to show her how much I appreciate the support she’s giving me – the only support anyone gives me. Because I’m so shy and introverted, sometimes I don’t express properly through speech my gratitude, so cards are a good way to do it. I know I’ve still gotten depressive episodes this year and self harmed, but things would have been much more difficult without her, I’ve had depression on my own in the past, and self harmed on my own in the past and you feel like the only person on the planet, very alone, so having someone there to tell when you’re not feeling well is a great help. I’ll be seeing her again in a couple of weeks. After that I went for a walk, in the rain. I felt really relaxed the rest of the day.
Today was not bad, the downside was I had to catch the bus, being that close to humans is not my idea of fun, luckily though it wasn’t too crowded as it was raining, lucky me I guess. When I was standing in the bus station a man who goes in the club and is really cheeky and irritated me in the past walked past and raised his arm to say hello, I just looked away, no thanks buddy. I was over the club yesterday and there were 2 men fairly close to me, and they were revolting, doing revolting things, why do men have to be so damn gross. Anyways, I have my appointment with Dr. to look forward to on Friday morning, so that’s keeping me going this week.
The Golden Boy is down, I love how when I walk into the room they pretend to sleep, but when he walks into the room, they’re all over him, and don’t want me there. It does wonders for my self esteem.