So, I feel like shit, I feel depressed, right now it’s about a 6 on the depression scale, so right now not super high, but it’s climbing all the time. I have strong urges to self harm, I fought them today. I started to feel a little off on Sunday, in the morning I was okay, but in the afternoon and evening I just felt a bit flat. Monday was much the same, I felt some relief and felt fairly good in the morning, but late afternoon and evening I started to feel a bit more depressed. Today I felt some relief again early in the morning, but mid morning I started to slowly slide down and right now, late afternoon I feel pretty down. It’s lucky in that I have an appointment with my Dr. tomorrow morning, so one of the reasons I fought the self harm urge today so much was that I wanted to see her tomorrow before I do self harm, it might make me feel a bit better.. seeing her. Truth be told I think I will eventually self harm in the coming days, right now I might be able to get away with some smaller cuts, before I get too depressed. I just either feel like lying down or listening to music, it’s about all I feel like doing, I’ll see how I feel tomorrow after my appointment.
A blog about various things - music, mental health, nature, my very mundane life and various thoughts.