Feeling a bit depressed, level 6 I would say at the moment, so not too high right now. I bought some new blades yesterday evening, they should be here in a couple of days, buying them actually made me feel excited and happy. Right now, the thought process is – cut, cut, cut, to feel that small bit of pain when the blade goes in, then the release of seeing the blood flow out. The buzz that you feel. The relief that you feel, the relaxation. I’m not surprised that self harm is addictive, when something gives you that much relief how can it not be addictive. If I cut now I might be able to get away with doing some smaller cuts, because my depression isn’t too serious at the moment. I’ll see what I feel like when I awaken in the morning.
A blog about various things - music, mental health, nature, my very mundane life and various thoughts.