I saw Dr P on Wednesday, and she had bad news for me. She told me that Dr B is leaving the practice, and it has really upset me a lot. Dr B was the only person who’s been close to me these past 4-5 years, I haven’t let anyone get anywhere near as close to me as Dr B was. I’m really going to miss seeing her, I’ve been feeling upset for the past few days, still do. I could talk to her about things that I would never even mention to other people, she was so easy to talk to, and so caring. I bought her a thank you gift and card, which I’ll give to Dr P to pass on to her on Dec 23rd when I see Dr P again. I must say though, I’m lucky that I now have Dr P, because she is also a caring and sensitive Doctor, I’m looking forward to getting to know her better, and my instincts tell me I can let her get on my inner circle like i did with Dr B. I’m just feeling upset and sad at the moment at the thought of not seeing Dr B again, I’m going to miss her loads, but I do hope that she’ll be happy with whatever she decides to do in the future, a special Doctor… deserves the best.


Sometimes I really want to totally lose it and be put into a mental asylum for the rest of my life, just so I can escape having to deal with people and life anymore. Just let me sit in a room on my own and keep me away from life, it’s very tiring having to deal with everything that people throw at you and I just want to give up sometimes and be left alone.


Had to catch the bus today, couldn’t wait to get off. It was alright up towards the back, didn’t smell too badly, but once I had to get off and walked down to the front, there was a smell, disgusting. Was glad to get the fresh air in my lungs.


Legs were aching a bit yesterday evening from walking earlier on, it’s a nice feeling. Felt pretty tired too. Feeling a bit flat, some small thoughts of self harming, nothing too concrete at the moment, other than that, things are not too bad I suppose.