Got this beauty a couple of days ago. New Bethlehem album, and it is excellent, really great new album. Beautiful little boxset too.
I saw Dr P on Wednesday, and she had bad news for me. She told me that Dr B is leaving the practice, and it has really upset me a lot. Dr B was the only person who’s been close to me these past 4-5 years, I haven’t let anyone get anywhere near as close to me as Dr B was. I’m really going to miss seeing her, I’ve been feeling upset for the past few days, still do. I could talk to her about things that I would never even mention to other people, she was so easy to talk to, and so caring. I bought her a thank you gift and card, which I’ll give to Dr P to pass on to her on Dec 23rd when I see Dr P again. I must say though, I’m lucky that I now have Dr P, because she is also a caring and sensitive Doctor, I’m looking forward to getting to know her better, and my instincts tell me I can let her get on my inner circle like i did with Dr B. I’m just feeling upset and sad at the moment at the thought of not seeing Dr B again, I’m going to miss her loads, but I do hope that she’ll be happy with whatever she decides to do in the future, a special Doctor… deserves the best.
From my archives. A nice close up, must be around 12 years old I think.
Sometimes I really want to totally lose it and be put into a mental asylum for the rest of my life, just so I can escape having to deal with people and life anymore. Just let me sit in a room on my own and keep me away from life, it’s very tiring having to deal with everything that people throw at you and I just want to give up sometimes and be left alone.
Feel good today, a slight high. Not much else to report. I have met a sweet young lady online, seems like a lovely person, so we’ll see if it develops into a friendship.
Had to catch the bus today, couldn’t wait to get off. It was alright up towards the back, didn’t smell too badly, but once I had to get off and walked down to the front, there was a smell, disgusting. Was glad to get the fresh air in my lungs.
Legs were aching a bit yesterday evening from walking earlier on, it’s a nice feeling. Felt pretty tired too. Feeling a bit flat, some small thoughts of self harming, nothing too concrete at the moment, other than that, things are not too bad I suppose.