melankolic.com

So obviously, like a hell of a lot of people around the world, the biggest thing going on lately has been the virus going around. It hasn’t affected me directly, which I hope continues. Thing is, they gave all the advice to not go out, stay at home, and it’s pretty much what I do all the time anyway, isolation from other people, so that part of it has not affected me at all, I’m used to being on my own and not being around people much. So staying in the house has been no problem for me, and when I do go out early in the morning just for a walk by myself, I go nowhere near anyone, which again, is what I’m like anyway, so no change there. Luckily hardly anyone is around at 6:30am anyway. But yeah, I have barely been out, spent most of the past week or two in the house, which has been fine by me. I’m most worried if someone I care about catches it. I did have to have a phone appointment with my doctor instead of face to face, which went great. I’ve had a phone phobia for a very long time, I hate using phones, and I was nervous waiting for her to call me, but when she did it felt very natural talking to her over the phone. The relationship I’ve built up with her in person obviously helped a lot. So that went great, she’ll call me again in a couple of weeks or so, she had a cold, sounded a bit rough on the phone, so I hope she gets better soon. So that’s about it for now, the depression has been staying away for the time being, I’ve had some anxiety, but my moods have been pretty good.

In a bit of a shitty mood this evening. I don’t think people realise what words and actions can do to someone unstable. So yeah, I wouldn’t mind some self harming, although I won’t this evening now, too tired.