melankolic.com

Not much to say about this week. It’s been pretty average. Mainly flat, with small pockets of feeling pretty good. Thoughts of self harm are there a lot of the time. I still have some bruising from last time, it’s lasted quite a long time so far, nice. I am going to self harm again soon.

Today was very tiring, felt lethargic today. Which is mainly down the anti-psychotics, which make me insanely tired some days, today being one of those days. They make me very hungry too, tiredness and hunger is not a good combination. To be honest the tiredness doesn’t really bother me, if I’m tired I just go and lie down and relax, put my headphones on and just doze, it’s not a problem. I don’t like being hungry a lot of the time though, it’s quite hard to manage. I’ve put on a lot of weight over the years because of it, then have to work hard to lose it. So that bothers me much more than the tiredness, I actually like having tired days to be honest.

It’s been raining this afternoon, my favourite weather, dark, dreaery and rainy. I watched a film, then listened to some music, I looked out the window at the rain, nice and relaxing.