Picked this up a couple of weeks ago on bandcamp, The Funeral Orchestra’s new release Negative Evocation Rites. It’s really good too.
Got this a couple of days ago: Ahab – Live Prey. Really nice.
Sail with Starve, some fuckin great melodic sludge / stoner.
Ahab with The Hunt, brilliant stuff.
Past week has been up and down. Anxiety has still been a bit shitty, but it has been better than last week so that’s a plus. I’m getting some small depressive feelings now and again though, which is not good, because they are quite intense, even if they do only last for a short while. Good thing is that I’ve been doing some stuff over the past week to take my mind off things for a bit, which has helped. I would really like to see my Doc again to be honest, I’m really missing her. I know I can’t see her at the moment, but I really want to. Talking to her is the best thing to ease my depression and anxiety, I miss being able to just sit down with someone face to face and be totally relaxed and open about everything, she’s the only one I am like that with.
My anxiety has been sooo bad this past week. I got the stress hives from it as I mentioned before. But I think I also had a small panic attack last Friday, I initially thought it was all physical, but thinking back I’m not so sure, I think it may have been a panic attack. Just going on the symptoms and how I felt seems to fit with a panic attack. I hate those things. I’ve had symptoms now for days afterwards, it does usually take a while for all of the symptoms to disappear. So the weekend was totally shit. I spent nearly all of Saturday on my bed resting, Sunday I didn’t do much, and Today I spent a lot of the afternoon on my bed. The symptoms are starting to go slowly. I think it all came from last Monday when I got really anxious, then maybe it took a few days for a panic attack to happen, I’ve had that happen before.
Some Shape of Despair with Curse Life.
I had such stressful days on Monday and Tuesday that I think I had a bit of stress hives, which is a first for me. At least I think it is, not 100% sure, I haven’t had a second opinion, it just looks like it. I was very anxious both days, not a lot of fun, some good deep breathing exercises helped.
I have felt some depression these past couple of days though, I’ve been fairly depression free for a little while, but yesterday afternoon and this morning was particularly depressing. It has gotten a bit better this afternoon. I’m starting to long for those nice and calm feelings I get from self harming. Maybe I need to get out more, I don’t know. I can’t really go out too much though at the moment.
Apart from that I haven’t been doing a lot, obviously, the situation being what it is.
Cosmic Memories 2 by HUBRID, great bit of synth.
Vanhelga’s new song, and it’s great.