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30-3-21

I’ve had some very bad depressive days over the past week. Last week, from Tuesday onwards was really bad, I nearly self harmed on Thursday, something came up though so it was inconvenient for me to do it. My mood started to rise over the weekend. But today has been shit, since the morning I’ve felt down. The weather really isn’t helping, I hate all of this sunny and bright shit. I’m kind of backwards, I really hate the sunny days. I haven’t had a springtime depression this bad for a number of years. I’ve had it before, but this is the worst for a long time. I’m really missing my doctor, I want to see her, but I can’t right now obviously, but it’s really getting me down, I just want to sit down with her and talk. I’m so tempted to self harm at the moment, maybe I will soon, I don’t know yet. Hopefully things will be a bit better tomorrow.